Everyone has a destined life. To grow up with or without education. To be born in a wealthy; rich or poor family or has just enough for the passing days. It is difficult to compare with each other. Some people live in big bungalows while some people have to beg for a living and homeless. To become wealthy through hard work, persistency and moral business ventures are difficult but possible. But to become wealthy through immoral businesses, trickery and bring harm to people are easy.
A typical person will get married after having a comfortable career. Buy a comfortable home and have a few children. Work for the family expenses and children's education until they are self independent, become successful in career and financially capable and also hope that their children will take care of them when they are old and shower them with family love. Grow old happily and healthily with the spouse and leave this world peacefully.
Well, not everyone can live a life they wanted. For all the wrong reasons... failed in education; juggling with roller coaster careers; married a spouse that ended in divorce; having children without proper educations and unable to support them; having to support the children even when they reach adulthood; many quarrels in the family, poor health and unable to support oneself and die miserably.
To meet a soul partner and get married is part of destiny. A good or bad marriage is also predestined.
What are children to the parents? The children are only partially belong to the parents. The flesh and blood of their children are literally created by their parents but their souls have been existed for thousands of years. Their souls are just destined to enter into the bodies of the babies that become your children. Your children are also part of your Karma. They bring you joy; happiness; pain; sadness; anger; hatred, hardships, sorrows and sufferings, etc. They are either here for their own Karma, to return gratitude to their parents or to create havocs and sufferings to their parents.
When the parents are around, the family members usually gather together regularly even after the children are married. When the parents passed away, all the children will disperse in different directions unless there is close relationship unity. It resembles a hugh tree (parents) with the monkeys (children) playing. When the tree falls, all the playing monkeys will run away, whether to another tree or on their own separate way.
We can create human lives but we are not able to control deaths. We form a family with our spouse and then multiply with our offsprings. The junior starts a family and will multiply with their offsprings. They may live in other places. The seniors are left alone. When one senior spouse passed on, the final situation is left with oneself. At the beginning it started with a single person and the last journey is finally alone.
Attachment brings happiness as well as sorrows and sufferings because not possessing someone we love, to live with someone that we do not like or hate and not possessing the things that we want are sufferings. Non attachment is knowing the result of attachment and not being attached with it in the beginning. When there is attachment, a death of a lover, spouse or own child, will generate great sorrow and grief. To a person with non attachment towards this dead person, there is no sorrow or suffering for the loss because it is part of life.
Sometimes by loving someone a lot, we want this person to be happy in life and we may let go of this person to go on his/her journey or marriage. To possess this person cannot guarantee life long companionship or marriage without the other person willingness and commitment. Many marriages have fallen apart even though solemn swearing wedding ceremonies had taken place. It is simply a contract between two party in this present world. Nothing is guaranteed and nothing last forever. Life is impermanent. No human lives forever.
When you can truly understand life and see everything as impermanent, we can reduce many suffering of emotions, sorrow and grief. As a layman living in this mundane world, we need love and strive for many things. The more we wanted, the more we are stressed. Obsession is a destroyer. Try to let go of many unnecessary wants and see things in their deepest truth, we will have more freedom and live much happier.
